Life's like this
OKAY I'll stop now. I'm actually more of a sk8erboi fan (or however she spelled/numbered it). But I know, like, 5 songs from her or something. Something with "it's a damn cold night", another song that's all about "HEY YOU I DON'T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND" or something and than there's a song with her running around a certain city avoiding her boyfriend. Something with "all I wanna do is mess around" and "WHAT. THE HELL.". Yes, her lyrics are quite deep. The only thing I really liked about her was her marriage with the kinda cute Sum 41 frontman. Pop-punk teen queen/king, kind of adorable. I'm more of a Sum 41 girl than Avril.
After dedicating more sentences to Avril Lavigne than I actually planned/wanted, I want to start off with thanking you wonderful people. After pouring my heart out on my blog, with my "deepest, darkest secrets" out in the open, I got wonderful support from my readers. And I can't tell you how much it meant/means to me. Even from people I don't know all that well I get beautiful comments/emails about how much they love my blog and how I'm "an inspiring individual", it's just wonderful. While I am going through a hard time in my life and I have moments where I just want to roll up into a ball and softly cry myself to sleep (sniffles), moments when I check my email and see wonderful messages from people I like and respect really give me a kick and make me smile. Apart from the fact that it gives me a good feeling that all kinds of people seem to care enough about me to leave a little "how are you?" message, it's also very nice to notice that when I open myself up to people, people seem to respond with the same care and interest with which I wrote the post. That you "get" what I'm trying to write and convey.
I'm going through all kinds of confusing things. First, the emotions. I have good days and bad days. I have days where I mostly feel okay but I suddenly take a monstrous plunge down and end up bawling for a good 20 minutes. I'm very happy that I'm living with my mum now because she's a great hugger and she knows she can cheer me up a bit with watching movies with me and making healthy veggie soups. So far, I've watched "500 days of Summer", "Milk", "Transamerica", "Awakenings", "It's a wonderful life", "50 first dates", "The green mile" and I think I'm forgetting one. All wonderful movies and reminding you about how my former boyfriend didn't want to watch movies with me for the past year or so, I kinda forgot how much I love movies. I don't want to forget about myself anymore. I only have one life and I want to live it the way that makes me happy.
I'm not "in love" with him anymore. But when you've spent so much time together, shared so many experiences and memories, the love you feel doesn't just go away. It would be easier if it did but it doesn't. But he has been my best friend and first love, and I don't feel like I want to completely shut him out of my life. I do, however, want to build my life around me from now on, he is not the most important thing in my life anymore.
You probably won't believe that this is actually happening but I have an outfit for you gals. YES, an emo post WITH clothing! One of my newest buys at the sales this summer, the harem pants. I never would've thought I would actually buy one but GODDAMN this thing is comfy, gorgeous and just plain awesome and flattering. I was always a little worried about the low crotch part of the pants because I hate it when the tops of my thighs rub together without any fabric in between but this is just the perfect fit and there's no trouble whatsoever on the crotch part! I've already worn it tons of times and I was seriously considering getting a second one just like this. I didn't but I know that this won't be the last pair of harem pants in my closet.
Little make-up tip: if you want a bright line of eyeshadow underneath or on your eyelid, get a white eyelinerpencil and draw a line. On top of the white, dab a bright color with an eyeliner brush or an 'angled brush' and you get a great result! It's also cheaper than buying all kinds of colored eyeliner. I'm a cheap Dutchie, yo.
You are awesome, thank you again and I'll see you later!